Sunday, September 03, 2006

absent in more ways than one

i've been away from blogging for longer than i had intended. i posted earlier about mental health - because i have a condition which is ongoing, it's easy to assume that when i'm feeling bad (physically or mentally) it's just because i'm going through a particularly low period, and not look for another explanation. now, however, it seems as though there may be something else going on as well.
i've spent the week being shuttled back & forth between a few medical professionals, although more specialists still need to be seen, & have gone through many pleasant tests, the results of which still need to be confirmed. but the general suspicion so far is that i may be having "absence seizures" - apparently, it's quite common for people on the autistic spectrum to also have or develop epilepsy (super, eh?). i've been signed off work until this can be fully assessed & in the meantime, i'm not allowed to drive. this, especially, is really annoying - because of the other aspects of the Asperger's, using public transport is something i can only manage on my good days (too much noise, bright lights, and scary people) so this means that my prospects for getting out & about are seriously restricted. obviously, i understand why it's not a good idea for me to drive at the moment, but it's still a pain in the butt.
as a result, i've not been feeling up to doing much lately - partially because of the physical symptoms i've been having (constant dizziness, fatigue & headache as well as "blank" moments) but also because i'm so worried about the whole thing that it's hard to tell where the "real" physical symptoms end & where the stress takes over!
on the up side, at least i have more time to knit, and i've still been spinning like a fiend. i've finally finished the merino/silk for the rest of "icarus" (which is good, as i'd stalled in the knitting at the beginning of chart two - just where it was starting to get interesting! - because i ran out of yarn & hadn't finished plying the rest of it yet!) and have started spinning the merino/silk from the same hipknits order in a colourway called "bluebird", which is a gorgeous dusky blue/grey with flashes of a brighter, deeper blue throughout. this fibre is so enjoyable to spin that i'm seriously tempted to buy up all the other colours as well.
now that i have so much time on my hands, i'll try to blog more, knit more, spin more, and not allow myself to sink into the swamp of sadness. hopefully the testing & assessments won't take too much longer...

6 comments:

Midsummer night's knitter said...

Hey, LIlith , sounds pretty c***. Thinking about you - hope the spinning is bringing some peace and serenity.
India

scarybez said...

Poor Lilith. Let us know if you need anything shipped in from the big smoke. Thinking of you. Sarah x

soCherry said...

Hey :)

Thinking of you - as Sarah said - if you need anythin shipping out there let me know :)

Elaine xx

soCherry said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Midsummer night's knitter said...

Hi - just droppin' by to say hi. Hope things are going ok, take care, India

Ignoble Jen said...

Good luck darling!

I look forward to seeing (and feeling) the product of all this spinning.

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!


Jen